THE WHEEL

This wheel is a plague on humanity. We all know this wheel. We all dread and loathe this wheel…it is the abomination of the malfunctioning grocery cart  wheel. What heinous calamity occurs to render the “One Wheel” inoperable but spares its three companions? Moreover, how is it possible that I choose the Crippled Cart four out of five times? Is it a mere twist of fate or is it something more maniacal like bad karma?

I watch with envy as a mother of three glides her superior cart past me with ease. Her two-year old is perched happily on top of a 25 pound of dog food, a 12 pack of Ball Canning Jars, a gallon each of distilled water, orange juice and milk and various other foodstuffs. She moves smoothly from aisle to aisle while I struggle to navigate my cart, containing one celery stalk, the 20 feet necessary to reach the Dairy Department.

I have nicknamed the one-bad-wheel-cart; The Teddy Roosevelt, because it is a rough riding son of a bitch that refuses to give up. At very least, grocers of America should place a warning sign on these steel perpetrators.

Warning: This cart should not be used by any person with temper issues, high blood pressure or low self-esteem.

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